Shannon

Tell Me You’re a Deluded Whack Job Without Actually Telling Me You’re a Deluded Whack Job

A while back, I wrote a piece about not believing everything you read on the book of faces. I’m happy to report I deleted the Facebook app from my phone about five months ago and have broken my dependence on their addictive algorithms. But this one bears an update based on some pretty INSANE thingsContinue reading “Tell Me You’re a Deluded Whack Job Without Actually Telling Me You’re a Deluded Whack Job”

Roe, Roe, Roe Your Vote

Get in the car, bitch; we are going to smash the patriarchy. My name is Shannon and I have had an abortion. Yep. I will preach it. My abortion was the result of a pregnancy loss. What’s that? Not the same thing? Well, dear reader, I assure you that, according to the backward courts inContinue reading “Roe, Roe, Roe Your Vote”

Samantha Jones is My Spiritual Advisor

If he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Samantha Jones Remember when Sex and the City was a phenom of pop culture? Before the recent lukewarm reboot, which I still watched because I am loyal to a fault. I am the same woman who watched Lost until the bitter, less than satisfyingContinue reading “Samantha Jones is My Spiritual Advisor”

Mansplain This

I have a few pet peeves. Tardiness. People who don’t know the difference between ‘there,’ ‘they’re’ and ‘their’ or ‘your,’ ‘you’re,’ and ‘yore.’ When my gel mani starts to lift after two days. People who drive the speed limit in the passing lane on the highway. OK, so maybe more than a few… But myContinue reading “Mansplain This”

I don’t think I want to live in a world where Crayola makes food

First and foremost, I do love your crayons, Crayola peeps. Your markers too. They beat the snot out of Roseart any day of the week. As a poor kid growing up in the 70’s/80’s, there was nothing quite as amazing as the 128-crayon box with the BUILT-IN sharpener on the back of the box andContinue reading “I don’t think I want to live in a world where Crayola makes food”

A Year in the Life…

We’ve all said it again and again… 2020 and 2021 have been a HELL of a ride. A colleague of mine refers to it as the “corona-coaster.” I wonder what I will tell my grandkids about this year of my life? Some good things happened, some not so good things happened. I lost a jobContinue reading “A Year in the Life…”

Lucky Wrinkles

As a small child, I was incredibly scared of wrinkles. Yes, wrinkles. Not the dark, not the boogie monster. WRINKLES. Later in life, I did develop a fear of some “normal” things like snakes, spiders, rats and generally anything that slithers. But at the ripe old age of 5, my biggest fear was wrinkles. HowContinue reading “Lucky Wrinkles”

Confessions of a Kissing Bandit

Many, many, many years ago on a small college campus in New York, a young woman set out to get a Bachelor’s degree in History. With her sights set on law school and armed a healthy obsession with all things historical, including bodice ripper romance novels, this exuberant young woman was eager to become theContinue reading “Confessions of a Kissing Bandit”

You’re Too…

Loud. Flirtatious. Fancy. Assertive. Bossy. Crazy. Angry. Bold. Sensitive. Noisy. Clumsy. Provocative. Flighty. Dreamy. Curious. [Insert adjective of your choice here] Why, oh why, does “You’re too…” invariably precede another word that’s less than flattering? Why does the person saying it to you feel the need to even utter the words in the first place?Continue reading “You’re Too…”

Oh Canada!

No, this is not an appreciation post for Canada’s delicious PM, Justin Trudeau; I am not blogging a love letter to the hottie from Ottowa. Though…whew, that man is REALLY easy on the eyes. We do not grow politicians that good looking by a long shot. This is some next level legislative eye candy, people.Continue reading “Oh Canada!”