I have a few pet peeves. Tardiness. People who don’t know the difference between ‘there,’ ‘they’re’ and ‘their’ or ‘your,’ ‘you’re,’ and ‘yore.’ When my gel mani starts to lift after two days. People who drive the speed limit in the passing lane on the highway. OK, so maybe more than a few…
But my all-time, ultimate pet peeve is being mansplained to. I am going to go ahead and assume you know what mansplaining is. If not, you know where to go. It starts with a “G” and ends with an “oogle.”
A lesser-known cousin to mansplaining is a phenomenon called “he-peating.” That’s happened to me often in a former place of employment by a former supervisor that can accurately be described in one word, “fuckface.” No joke; you can check my phone right now and find this piece of crap, narcissist, douchebag still in my contacts, filed in the “F’s” for fuck face. He-peating is the act of repeating what a woman has after the fact to another group in an effort to take credit for the idea. This jackass was notorious for he-peating every woman he worked with. Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with this joker anymore.
But I have been mainsplained to my whole goddamned life and I bet you have too. The mansplainer usually also likes to use words like “honey” and “sweetie.” Do not get me wrong, I love those endearments and use them all the time. But when a man who I may not know well prefaces a statement to me with one of those words, you can pretty much be assured that my eyes are rolling and my blood pressure is raising. The typical profile of a mansplainer is an older white male; they just cannot seem to help themselves. It happens everywhere.
- You could be talking to a guy working at a home improvement center; they love to tell you what you do and do not want to purchase; even though it’s none of their business.
- I have had men try to school me in American History; I have a BA in History, so…. NO.
- In the world of work, I have had men that REPORTED to me try to mansplain some of the work I assigned him to me. That was next level. Needless to say, that guy was not around for long; I showed him the door in pretty short order.
- In the relatively fraught political times we live in (to put it mildly), I have had many men try to do things like explain elections and voting rights to me. See the BA in History. Try again, mansplainer.
So, if there are, by chance any men reading this. Do better. And by “do better,” I really mean shut your fucking mouth for once in your life.
The rest of us have had to do it for centuries; it’s time you took a turn on the bench as well.
And… for my fellow resisters, do not be afraid to look at that mansplainer and tell him his opinion is not needed or welcomed.
A cold blank look that you might give to someone you cannot stand always works too. I use this in many situations and it gives off the exact amount of “I really think you’re a giant asshole” vibe.
Or, if you are feeling bold and resisting invisible, tell him to fuck right off.
Keep on resisting, friends!