Roe, Roe, Roe Your Vote

Get in the car, bitch; we are going to smash the patriarchy.

My name is Shannon and I have had an abortion. Yep. I will preach it.

My abortion was the result of a pregnancy loss. What’s that? Not the same thing? Well, dear reader, I assure you that, according to the backward courts in states like Missouri, Texas, Alabama and Oklahoma, it WOULD BE. They would NOT differentiate. I could and would be prosecuted for the crime of miscarriage in one of these godforsaken places. Or, I would be DENIED care which may result in my death. I was a married mom of 32 with a two year old. I got pregnant with number 2 by choice. Right around week 10, I started to bleed. Multiple exams, including an internal sonogram confirmed what I already knew. I had to wait a week to see if I would expel the fetus naturally. That was super not fun. But women do what they have to do; I continued to go to work, care for my toddler daughter and fret about what was going on inside my body. Finally the call was made to have a D and C; an abortion.

In some states today, I would be denied that care. I would carry a dead fetus inside me while I waited to become septic. That could lead to my death; I could have left my toddler without a mom. It could also result in permanently infertility. There’s irony there to be sure. If I did go to a hospital, I would be treated as a criminal and interrogated as to what I did to cause my miscarriage. Make no mistake, some of the more “caring” medical staff here in liberal New York that I encountered during this time tried to do the same thing and frankly, I hope they all rot. Nothing says “I am here to care for you without judgement” like asking a woman in the middle of a miscarriage what she thinks she might have done to “cause” it.

I bounced back from the miscarriage quickly and three months later was already pregnant again. I mourned the previous pregnancy because I do have a heart (no matter what some of my exes say), but my attention was quickly diverted to my daughters and all the craziness that ensues when you’re the mom of two little girls under the age of five.

Fun fact as well… three months after the birth of my second daughter, I closed the kitchen. I did not enjoy pregnancy and did not want to do it again. There was very little argument from my spouse; though he wanted a boy, he knew better than to press the matter. So I opted to get my tubes tied. Thankfully, I went to a OB/Gyn group that did not give me miles and miles of red tape to go through to have this procedure done. Trust me when I say, not all women are so lucky. The procedure in question had to be done at a surgical center; the religious-affiliated local hospitals would not conduct the procedure. But I challenge you to ask any other woman who has had a tubal ligation and see how that conversation went with their doctor. Young women are questioned rigorously for this choice; if you are unmarried the decision is challenged to the point of obscenity. So much for true bodily autonomy, even in a blue state. Someone who “knows better” (usually a old man) has different plans. By the way, those men can go fuck themselves. I told you above we are going to smash the patriarchy, right?

I have also aided and abetted abortions by driving more than one dear friend to her appointment and staying to bring her back home, escorting her through the gauntlet of angry, pruned up women and loser men who cannot stand the fact that women have bodily autonomy. I have abetted abortions by standing by several friends as they have made the decision to end an unwanted pregnancy. I can tell you that it was not always an ‘agonizing’ decision. Far from it. It’s life and it’s messy and not always perfect and you deal with what it handed to you. I would aid and abet an abortion for any woman I know, including my daughters. They know this.

I have considered an abortion more than once. We have all been there, ladies. The dread that follows when you’re late for a period and you purchase the test. You go back to your apartment after work and pee on the stick. Watching the liquid wick up the test, peering intently to see that line appear. I got lucky; dodged a bullet more than once. But make no mistake; at that time in my life I would have made the choice to abort. No question in my mind. I was not ready and certainly not with someone I saw myself with for the long haul.

Funny word, that…. CHOICE. Because I know what choice I would have made. But that does not give me the right to make that choice for SOMEONE ELSE.

In each of those cases of women I know who have had abortions, she was able to come to the decision HERSELF. Maybe a partner was involved, maybe not. In all the cases where a partner was in the picture, they supported the woman’s decision completely and without question. I am not going to applaud these men overmuch for doing what they should; but these are real men to be sure.

Ask yourself…. can I and should I have the right to dictate to someone what they can and cannot do with their body? Can I make a man to shave his head as he sports an awful combover? Can I arrest an overweight man for slogging down a Big Mac? Can I force a man to get a vasectomy to prevent unwanted pregnancy? I cannot force someone to donate a kidney to my mom. I cannot be forced to donate blood in a time of crisis, but I sure may CHOOSE to.

It’s a joke certainly to say that if men got pregnant and carried babies, abortions would be available in government-funded drive throughs. Birth control would be 100% free and millions and millions of dollars of research would ensure that it was as close to 100% effective as possible. You see, there’s a kernel of truth in all that. Because we all know that it’s not far from the realm of possibility. The federal government funds the shit out of Viagra. If, as the evangelical whackos say, pregnancy is “god’s will,” isn’t erectile disfunction? What if I am an atheist or agnostic and do not believe in god or question the existence of god? Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body?? I do not believe it’s “god’s will” in any way shape or form.

Someone I used to be involved with once said that women who have had more than one abortion should be punished. It was at that moment that I knew that the relationship, already on rocky ground, was fucking DOOMED. Hey guy, go fuck yourself.

As we have seen this summer, since the evangelically-leaning SCOTUS (so much for whole notion of separation of church and state, folks) knocked down Roe v. Wade in the Dobbs decision, the women of America are pissed. Not all of them, to be fair. Some of them are still living like fools in their Stepford-wife, bow-to-the patriarchy existence. They listen to their partner who says stupid shit like women who get more than one abortion should be punished. They seem to like the thought of America morphing in Gilead. (You know I just HAD to throw a Handmaid Tale reference in there, right???) I am lucky that my girls and I live in a state that protects a woman’s right to choose. But if the right-wing nut jobs who are a MINORITY in this country got their way, that would not be the case.

Do not be complacent, do not assume that this is the only freedom that a vocal minority in this country would like to take from women. And know that they are very much a MINORITY even though they make an awful lot of stupid noise.

Make no mistake, to anyone with half a brain who read Justice Thomas’s opinion on the Dobbs decision, it’s very clear what is on the line next and that would be the right to birth control and same sex marriage. Funny how a guy like Clarence Thomas does not want to go after the Loving decision, because that would be the next logical step. I guess ‘hypocrite’ is not a word in his vocabulary. If you don’t know what the Loving decision was, here’s a link and here’s another link as to why Thomas is a hypocrite.

While I am glad to live in a state that protects my right to choose, I am also not so blind as to see that a SCOTUS filled with right-wing religious freaks might very well attempt a full ban regardless of what the states say. Or a MAGA-led congress would not try to legislate it. They are propped up by a whole host of disgusting politicians who cannot seem to grasp the concept of “separation of church and state.” To say that these people are woefully ignorant is a gross understatement.

We gained the right to vote in this nation a scant 102 years ago. If they can strip women of bodily autonomy and freedom of choice slowly, they think no one will notice. Remember that on election day this year and every year from here on in. Because these people are saying the quiet part out loud and if you think they don’t want you helpless and dependent and INVISBLE, you’re not paying attention.

Roe, Roe, Roe your vote deliberately to the POLLS.

Resist!

Oh, and Amy Coney Barrett can eat a bag of dicks. Kisses!